LumiLens: We Broke Up Review

Korean dramas have been taking over the Asian entertainment business by storm for the past couple of years. From their beautiful and talented actors to the complex plot line, these shows have captured the attention of millions around the world. Although there are amazing shows out there today, some viewers might think that it might take too much time to watch each episode. However, there is a new type of drama has found its place in the limelight. “Web dramas” are shows that are much shorter, estimating to be about five to fifteen minutes per episode, compared to the long and heavily detailed 45 minute dramas. Even though web dramas are much shorter in length, they are still able to tell their stories beautifully and capture the hearts of their viewers. These shows are perfect for those who want to watch a show but do not want to invest too much time in them.

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Produced by YG Entertainment’s model management company, YG KPLUS, “We Broke Up” is a web drama about a couple that recently split. Former 2NE1 member, Sandara Park, and Kang Seungyoon of WINNER take the lead roles of Noh Woori and Ji Wonyoung, respectively, in this melodrama.

Woori, a college student, meets Wonyoung, the lead singer of his band at one of his small gigs. Their relationship moves quickly and soon begin living together. Due to various problems, they decide to break up. However, they remain to live together under the same roof until their housing contracts end. To keep each other out of their lives, they try to distance themselves and go as far as to make a list of strict rules to not bother each other at home. However, Woori becomes concerned when Wonyoung suggests to not interfere in each other’s love life, thinking that he’s started dating other people already. As the two begin their lives apart, they meet new people, which causes tension between the two.

You might think that this 10 episode series will be depressing and filled with lots of tears and heartbreak, but it isn’t. Each episode is actually quite comedic because of the petty, yet silly, actions Woori and Wonyoung do towards each other. Despite the crazy antics they get into, there are times where they’ll reflect on their past relationship. The longing Woori and Seungyoon have for each other feels so real. You could feel your heartstrings being pulled whenever our star couple missed each other. For those who have experienced a breakup, you might begin to reminisce the feeling of breakups and the longing you may had for your ex-significant other. Throughout the series, the directors really capture the residual feelings one experiences post-breakup. Little things such as Woori worrying if Wonyoung ate yet or Wonyoung wondering why Woori hasn’t come home yet, really tugs at your heart, making you wish that they have a chance to get back together at the end of the series.

The biggest takeaway from this drama was to cherish your relationship!

The experience outweighs the outcome. Be fond of the memories you made with that special someone. If you do find yourself at the end of a relationship, don’t worry. You will feel sad and upset. You will wonder how you’ll continue with the most important person in your life, gone. You will ask yourself when you’ll stop missing them.

It’s okay to feel sad and cry.

Give yourself time to heal.

It’ll be okay.

You will be okay.

I really enjoyed watching “We Broke Up.” The storyline was well thought out and the actors were able to tell the story seamlessly. Those who have experienced a breakup would enjoy this because they will be able to empathize with the ex-couple and understand their feelings. Anyone who likes a more serious drama with bits of comedic relief would enjoy this as well! Since each episode is about 20 minutes long, it’s a good series to watch during your lunch break or right before bed – perfect for any Lumi-readers who are busybees.

Be on the lookout for more web drama reviews from the Lumi team!

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Tu-esday OOTD: Japangeles

(L.A.) recently made a trip to Los Angeles for KCON 2017, and judging from all her stories and pictures she shared with me, it seemed like she had a ton of fun! Seeing her enjoy herself that much made me want to visit LA again. Hopefully for next year, I can go with her and meet all these cool people she talked about!

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On my own past trip to Los Angeles back in March, I really wanted to buy a jacket from Japangeles, a small business found in Little Tokyo. It was a windbreaker that was being sold at a small booth near the entrance. I told myself to wait until the last day to see if I really wanted it since it was $55. Not too expensive, but hey, I don’t want to regret purchasing anything. I’ve had my fair share of impulse purchases and later regretted them all.

On my last day in LA, I still wanted to buy it so I told myself to go back to Little Tokyo just to get it. I stayed at an AirbnB less than a block away so I didn’t have to travel too far. Unfortunately, the booth was closed by the time I went back, so I left LA empty-handed. I was pretty sad. I even checked their website but that was under construction. Luckily, L.A. was able to buy it for me when she was there! Bless friends that buy you things from across the country. Thanks, birb. ❤

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Here’s a picture of the windbreaker by Japangeles! I got this in the cameo design but there’s also a maroon one and black one! The orange font on the front and back of the jacket gives it a nice pop of color. I’ve been looking for a jacket like this for a very long time and I’m so glad I was finally able to get my hands on this. The design of the jacket gives off a street vibe, which fits my style completely. When I think of street styled clothing, I think of big, loose fitting clothes that make you feel and look cool! Every time I wear this jacket, I feel like a total bada** and I don’t know…I just feel like my cool levels went from a 2 to a solid 9. (The last few sentences just sounded super lame…I’m sorry. I don’t even know if I’ll include this.)

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The material of this jacket is very nice and definitely worth its price. The stitching around the fabric is very small, meaning that it’ll last a long time and won’t break anytime soon.

Here’s a pro-tip in purchasing clothes: if the stitches are big, do not buy it!

Small, multiple stitches are stronger and will have your clothes last longer. The fabric itself is very smooth and soft, so it’s comfortable to wear. It’s thin, but it will keep you warm when it gets chilly. When you touch the inside of the jacket, you can actually feel that there’s a soft layer inside that provides insulation. It’s the perfect time to whip out a jacket like this since autumn is slowly rolling in. If it gets too cold, there are buttons that you can use to bundle up. Compared to other similar jackets I own, this one has the nicest quality. I have a jacket from YesStyle that’s the same style but is very low in quality. The YesStyle jacket is just the outer layer of the Japangeles jacket. It doesn’t keep you warm at all and it feels like I’m wearing a plastic bag. Well, I guess that’s what $10 gives you, doesn’t it?

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I got this in a size small, but it’s quite big on me as you can tell. It’s the perfect item to layer with for cold days. I can see myself wearing a hoodie or a big sweater underneath this! For warmer days, I can see myself rocking a plain white tee with this jacket. Since this jacket is so loud on its own, I recommend wearing something simple underneath.

Overall, I am completely in love with this jacket! If I could, I would buy the maroon version just because the rest of my wardrobe is pretty monotone. I’m starting to use jackets as an accessory piece, and these windbreakers are right up my alley. I’d also check out the other merchandise Japangeles has to offer since the quality of this jacket is so nice. I’m sure that their sweaters and t-shirts are also high quality. I’ll definitely be purchasing more clothes from them once they have their website up and running! Japangeles staff, please open up your website soon so east coast dwellers like me can buy your clothing line!

For those residing in the LA area, please check them out and support them! They recently opened up a store in Little Tokyo, and I’m so happy that they’ve upgraded from the small little booth they once had when I last visited. I hope that this small, independent business expands in the new few years and I can’t wait to see them grow.

Keep hustling, Japangeles!

LumiScope: @kodaslife_

With the number of fashion icons and bloggers growing with the help of social media, underdog users are taking us by surprise with new content for their followers to enjoy. In the west coast scene, where fashion and Instagram go hand in hand, Koda (@kodaslife_) has his image steadily landing in the spotlight with the help of his style and his music. LumiScript caught a glimpse of this young icon through KoreLimited LA’s Instagram, sporting their apparel. From there, we had the pleasure of interviewing, so that his followers – current and future – might have a new insight past Instagram.

There are a lot of fashion bloggers nowadays. What do you think is the biggest challenge in terms of boosting your audience when there’s a lot of rising competition?

I would have to say the hardest part or the biggest challenge when boosting your audience is the boosting part you have maintain a certain thing people like to keep your audience attention so they can show their friends about you.

Do you have a fashion icon celebrity and/or on Instagram?

Fashion icons: Victoria Loi (@victorialoi), @emilytheghoul, @ellenvlora, @flamcis, @marycake, @zachchoi, @kidkoji, @iamkareno, Jenn Im (@imjennim), Sophia Chang (@sophiachang)

Through your experience so far, what have been the most rewarding experiences you’ve had?

Through my experience being a fashion blogger, my biggest achievement is my supporters. I love them so much, and each and every little comment makes me happy. I’m very thankful for them (and also the free clothing, at times).

 

You’re also a musician. Is there a particular subject you find yourself writing about?

With music, I’ve always been into it since I was little, and I started writing songs since I was 13. I’m 19 now; a style that really fits me well is deep or about love because I feel I can put my passion and feelings into music.

Do you think that sound and image change with popularity over time?

Yes and no. I believe it changes because your audience changes, and most people are heavily influenced by the things that they hear or see and want to be like the next person because that’s what’s hot at the moment. I’ve changed my style many times.

For your music, who do you want your audience to be?

I would love to work towards a positive environment and just good vibes – mainly 16 and up.

 

 

What is your long term goal fashion and music wise?

My long term fashion goal is to just dress nice all the time and turn heads while walking down the street. I love compliments ❤

 

What do you think is the biggest misconception with online fashion icons?

I feel there is a lot of ego and arrogance in the fashion industry.

 

Is there a motto you live by?

My motto is pretty simple; it’s just to be yourself. That’s all you have in the end.

What is something you want your audience to know about you?

I want my audience to know they are very special to me, and I love them with all of my heart. #kobruhs look out for new music soon and follow my ig kodaslife_.

Please support Koda through his journey!

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@kodaslife_

 

To Explore is to Experience

Every time I leave a place, old or new, the part of me that I leave behind gets bigger and bigger until I find myself scattered across the world, trying to get back until I’m satisfied with what I’ve seen. That’s the thing with vacations – they will forever be a moment that passes, a temporary hiccup in your life when a blank slate is placed in front of you and you’re free to paint whatever you want. When I was in Korea, that part of me stayed at our small Airbnb in Hongdae, ready to run downstairs to the 7eleven for a midnight snack and banana milk.

Los Angeles is not what you expect. Coming from the east coast where monotony is either the norm or an anomaly, the only thing I had to compare was what I had seen in movies, pictures, or just by word of mouth. Buildings are spaced further apart than what I was used to, and I found myself using public transportation for nearly any place I needed to go to. People stare and speak as you walk by without a second thought, and it’s almost as if tourists are so expected that it’s just become part of the norm. There were too many things that I needed to try that I felt I needed to be there at least a month before I could truly experience everything I needed to.

I never considered Los Angeles a place that I wanted to stay. The traffic is terrible, and I always seem to lose my sense of direction. The streets are dirty, and it just doesn’t feel like a place I could call home.

So what made this time around so different than the last?

The people – the ones I’d come across by chance and found myself trusting after only moments.

The experience – the nights I’d spent thinking that another day had gone by yet there was nothing for me to worry about.

The way that I felt like – for the first time – that I belonged here. It felt like I was breathing familiar air. I had just been placed into a space that welcomed me, and I was ready to take on whatever came first.

Third time’s the charm, they say, and that may be the case – because here’s that feeling again. The feeling that I’m just in a period of wandering, waiting until I can stay and never grow tired of the things I see outside my window.

I was told once that, while soulmates exist, so do soul cities. Your soul city is where your soulmate is, but the fact that a soulmate isn’t always a lover seems to pass people by. Your soulmates are the ones who you are meant to come across, those who enter your life and change it for the better. I came across more members of my soul group during this trip, and that made my time there so much more rewarding.

From this I learned to make friends wherever you go.

Those who are the most unassuming can be the people who add a little piece of ink to the tattoo underneath your memories, spaces in your being that are reserved for certain people that will never fade.

I was all too lucky to come across the people who I’d love to keep with me until I get where I’m supposed to – no matter where that may be. The soundtrack of my life journey picked up in tempo until the background noise became a symphony, and it was an orchestra they made up around me. The laughter and the stories were the only evidence I needed of their existence, and the pictures were simply surplus.

You never truly intend to make friends, but when you do, you find it difficult to imagine how you used to live prior to their arrival. Making friends, while it is something you’re supposed to have picked up in elementary school becomes increasingly difficult as you get older. After friends coming and going, the amount of trust you can hand out dwindles. Stumbling upon others who don’t make you sacrifice any of your pride for the sake of creating trust are the ones who should say – and they are the ones who will stay.

I left LA knowing I’d be back.

From the east coast to the west with love.

Tu-esday Food Adventures: Maryland

Last week, I hung out with two of my close classmates from college. One of them is off to go to veterinary school, so we decided to have one last get together before she left. We decided to meet up at Montgomery Mall, located in Bethesda, Maryland. It was the perfect middle point between all three of us since I live in Northern Virginia (NoVA) and they live around Gaithersburg. According to them, Montgomery Mall is going to be the only mall left in Maryland – at least near where they live. Any other mall nearby is either a dead-zone or about to shut down completely.

It was a bit of a struggle for me to find where the food court was there since I’ve only been there once in my life. That mall is huge, too. Maybe not as big as Tyson’s Corner, but it’s still fairly large. My friends ended up coming to look for me because I was that lost….oops.

Anyway, we decided to grab a quick lunch at the food court. I wish I had a picture to show you guys how it looked. The food court was very modernized and contemporary – a lot nicer than the food court at Tyson’s. We all ordered waffles from a placed called “Wicked Waffle.” Not only did they sell your regular breakfast waffles, they also had interesting combos like Peking duck waffles and tiramisu waffles. I heard of this place before since they have a location in D.C., which received a lot of praise.

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My friends ordered the egg whites and grilled veggies, sweet potato fries, and the fried chicken and waffles. I got the mango and brie waffle. The waffles were pretty good. They were crunchy on the outside but airy and soft on the inside. I’m not a big fan of those super dense waffles, so this was perfect for me. The taste of them wasn’t overly sweet or salty, either. The egg whites and grilled veggie waffle wasn’t anything to really rave about, though. This plate came out like a sandwich. The amount of egg whites inside the sandwich probably filled up around half of the inside. There were probably only seven slivers of grilled bell peppers. Although the eggs whites and vegetables were flavored nicely, I wish that there was more! It was each of our first meal of the day, so we all wanted something to fill us up.

The chicken and waffles was pretty good. The fried chicken was a little spicy, so it had a nice kick to it. The meat wasn’t dry either. It was moist on the inside and crunchy on the outside. They dusted powdered sugar over the plate so the chicken had a nice sweetness factor to it. Only thing I’d change about this is the saltiness. The chicken was flavorful, but it was way too salty! I noticed myself grabbing my water to drink every time I took a bite out of it.

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Next is the dish that I ordered: the mango and brie waffle. I’ve always been a fan of brie. It probably is one of my top five cheeses of all time. I just love how smooth and soft it is. The taste isn’t that overpowering either so it pairs well with fruits like strawberries and mangoes. This was the first item on the menu that caught my eye so I had to order it. You can never go wrong with a fruit and cheese combo. The mango was sweet and had a little bite to it which went well with the soft and savory brie. On top of that, there were a few slices of jalapenos which gave the entire dish a bit of a kick. I really enjoyed my dish just because it had both my favorite cheese AND fruit.

Last, but not least, are the sweet potato fries. For those who know me, I love fries. Sometimes I end up staying up late at night because I’m craving fries.

Yes, my love for fries is that bad.

My favorite type of fries is the thinly cut ones so it’s super crunch on the outside. These sweet potato fries really hit the spot for me. The fries were julienned, which means that they were cut into long, thin strips. Once they hit the oil, these fries crisp up beautifully, leaving the inside moist and tender.

YUM!!!

I personally really liked eating these fries by themselves. The cashier told us that a customer really enjoyed eating the fries with whipped cream, so he gave us a cup of it. I was a bit confused at first, but I gave it a try. Honestly, it wasn’t anything that special. Just whipped cream with potatoes. I usually like my fries with ketchup and mustard, so I wasn’t impressed. If I were to try it again, I would have to crave it or would want to consume all the deep fried, oily goodness that day.

Am I the only one who occasionally feels like eating my weight in food?

After lunch, we decided to stop by a new dessert store that sold cookie dough. My friends and I were excited to try this place since there’s been a lot of talk about a store in New York that sells this. The people in that video made it seem as if it was the best thing in the world, so we had high expectations.

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Shout out to my friend’s overgrown manicure!!!

Anyway, we ordered the Oreo cookie dough at “Cookie Dough & Co,” which came with a shot of milk.

It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever had.

I actually thought I shoved a spoonful of sugar into my mouth. It was soooooo sweet. Disgustingly sweet. The three of us could not finish such a tiny cone because we all thought that we were going to get diabetes after eating it. Seriously.

I don’t even know why anyone would crave cookie dough in the first place. I checked their website and so many people raved about it, and I’m not really sure what the hype was about. I would never come back here. I got my Instagram pic so I have no reason to come back haha.

Our last stop was a new boba joint called “Lab Café,” located in Rockville Towne Center.

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From left to right: taro milk tea, plum sparkling tea, and unique milk tea.

Taste: Eh. It tasted like Kung Fu Tea, which I’m not a very big fan of. The taro milk tea tasted like it was made from powder. The unique milk tea didn’t taste unique at all. All I tasted was the powdered creamer. It wasn’t even well-shaken so I felt the grittiness of the powder. The plum sparkling tea was probably the best even though it wasn’t that special either. It was literally the Chinese plum drink with soda. I could’ve made it at home.

Presentation: I’d give more points to their presentation than their taste just because I liked the mustache on the straws. Their logo is pretty cute too.

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I’d probably come back here just to hang out. Their drinks aren’t the best, but they’re not bad either. I would try something else since they have a lot on their menu. The overall design of the store is nice too. It has a cozy feel to it and I can see myself studying here or socializing with friends. There’s also nice wall art, as shown above, which is perfect for your daily Snapchat and Instagram.

Well, that concludes my second food review. Overall, everything I consumed was ok. I’m sure that over time each food place will improve, since they’re all fairly new. I hope that other people have better experiences in the future!

To end this post on a good note, here’s a picture of me with my friends. Our facial expressions really show each of our personalities. Bubbly, weird, and sassy. 😊

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Tu-esday Foodspot: Bún bò Huế

First restaurant review!!! Yay!

The other day, my dad and I decided to have some quality time together and grab dinner. We went to Eden Center, which is a shopping center centered around the Vietnamese community in the DMV area. Here, you can find a plethora of small businesses ranging from family-run restaurants to jewelry stores. As a Vietnamese-American, this place has a special place in my heart. I’ve been coming here for as long as I can remember. I remember coming here to buy myself cute stationary at the toy store then stop buy a bakery to get an avocado smoothie. I pretty much grew up here.

Nowadays, Eden Center is a hotspot for a quality Vietnamese meal. Today, I’ll be talking about one of my favorite meals: Bún bò Huế (BBH).

To break it down, the first word, “bún,” means “rice noodle.” “” means “beef.” Finally, Huế is the former capital of Vietnam. The broth is prepared by boiling together beef bones, lemongrass, and fermented shrimp sauce, or “mắm ruốc.” Together, these flavors marry together to create a perfect balance of savory, sweet, sour, and spicy. A bowl of BBH is usually topped with big chunks of beef shank, pork knuckles, pork blood, and chả (pork sausage slice). I personally really like eating the pork knuckles because of how gelatinous the joints are. And, if cooked right, the skin is the perfect texture where it snaps in your mouth when you bite it.

SO GOOD….!!!

Anyway, I never really had amazing BBH other than when it’s homemade. Some places make the lemongrass flavor too strong, other places the broth is too sweet. Then, there are the restaurants that overcook the meat. I almost gave up trying to find a restaurant with good BBH until my sister’s boyfriend recommended me this restaurant called Kien Giang Quan. I’m not sure what that translates to in English, but all I know is that they serve AMAZING food. I mean…LOOK AT THIS:

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My sister’s boyfriend recommended me to try this place because they’re known for their BBH. I asked my dad about it, and he said that the restaurant is pretty popular amongst the Vietnamese community despite how small it is. There were probably about eight tables that could seat two to four people each.

My dad and I arrived at the restaurant around 6:50 PM, so we expected it to be busy. About four of the tables were taken, so it was quite busy for them. The waiter was very friendly to us, maybe because he knew my dad, and served us tea. He quickly took our orders and went to the kitchen to place them. My dad and I were talking for no more than 5 minutes and our food, including the vegetable condiments, was already out. Service was A+ here.

Before I dive into this, let me just show you how my BBH looked like when it came out:

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DOES THAT NOT LOOK DELICIOUS TO YOU?

I added some bean sprouts, sliced banana blossom, and a squeeze of lime just because I like getting mouthfuls of vegetables. This bowl of BBH just screams flavor. When I tried the broth, it had the perfect balance of salty, sweet, and spicy. Every spoonful of soup I tasted made me want more. You can really tell how much love and labor the chef put into making this broth. I don’t usually finish the entire bowl, but this time, I slurped up every last drop.

Let’s talk about the contents in the bowl.

First off, the meat. They had medium rare beef slices in here as well as beef shank, both incredibly tender and flavorful. There was also the pork knuckle, which was at the bottom of my bowl. Unfortunately, it was only a fraction of the knuckle, but it was still delicious. It had the perfect gelatinous texture that I love so much and the skin wasn’t chewy at all and had a nice bite to it. I only wish I had more!

I’m a huge fan of noodles. If I were to choose between noodles and rice, I’d choose noodles in a heartbeat. There’s something about slurping noodles that is so satisfying. Anyone else think this way?

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If this picture of noodles doesn’t look appetizing to you, I don’t know what does. These noodles are my favorite kind of noodle. It’s not too thin like pho noodles, but not as thick and heavy as egg noodles. They were perfectly cooked and had the right amount of softness. I believe that Asian noodles should be cooked a little bit past al dente. I’m not sure why, but it doesn’t seem right to cook it when it’s still hard in the center. I think it defeats the purpose of how easy it is to eat noodles.

After eating this, you feel full, but not disgustingly stuffed. My mom always told me that Vietnamese cuisine should never make you feel that way. You should leave the restaurant feeling content. Fun fact: did you know that Vietnamese food is one of the healthiest cuisines in the world? With every dish, there is a perfect balance of carbohydrates, protein, and fats. Like any other food, you should appreciate what’s in front of you rather than focus on making yourself full. Both my dad and I thoroughly enjoyed our meals. I wasn’t even able to try his because he ate it all! I would definitely recommend anyone who wants to try real BBH.

Don’t go anywhere else in Eden Center – come here to try it.

You definitely won’t be disappointed.

Step 1: Honesty

Honesty is the best policy.

Or is it?

When I was in middle school, making friends depended on how I spoke and what I spoke about. I talked about things that I thought people liked, and I crumbled even if I didn’t think it was right. In other words, I had two personas – public and private. My public side was very into the current trends, things that the people around me liked. Public Me wanted to make friends everywhere even if that person’s ideas didn’t match my own. Public Me was loud – she wanted to be heard in anyway she could.

Private Me had all the thoughts, the ideas, and the potential but kept it stored away out of fear.

After my first friend purge, my first genuine best friend got me to stand up for myself – something I never actually considered doing. I was okay letting my friends walk all over me if it meant keeping them. Once I stood up for myself the first time, I couldn’t go back.

Why do we assume that people will only like one side of us?

Private Me was a different kind of loud – she was assertive, and she had all the thoughts that needed to be heard. But she saved those thoughts for the Internet or whatever other media outlet she could find. The private side of me stayed hidden within the confines of my computer screen. Then I suddenly had an epiphany –

How could I ever expect to make friends who I’d be willing to have for the rest of my life if I only ever show them one side? And what was the purpose of having both sides? Was I protecting myself? Who was I saving?

I wasn’t saving anyone. I was hurting myself. I kept these thoughts tucked away for the sake of having people around me.

So – honesty first.

Friends second.

It’s easy to talk to people, but what are you supposed to talk about? Do I talk about something I think you’ll like or do I talk about what’s on my mind? To whom do I cater this conversation to? And that’s where my lesson had finally been realized.

I needed to close the gap between Private and Public Me. As time went on, I made the decision to combine the two. The public persona brought the private to light, and the private kept the public from only focusing on what other people liked. There was definitely a result.

People started to tell me I was “real.” What does that mean? I’m being honest, how is that real? Is there such a shortage of honesty in the world that it has become an anomaly? Friends, friends, friends – they all said the same things, and I just let myself continue to be honest.

Honesty, however, does not always guarantee a common thought. I stayed honest, but when my words contradict your own thoughts, I became something else. I was no longer “real,” I was judgmental – I was insensitive, I was inconsiderate. All these things made me think I needed to change again.

But did I really? It wasn’t that I changed over time, but my thoughts no longer consistently aligned with the people around me. Suddenly I became the bad guy. I was no longer “real,” and there became a floating assumption that I’m hiding a part of myself from the world.

Trust me – I’m not.

If I’m hiding anything, it’s something I, myself, have not even discovered. There are no surplus thoughts underneath this image I’ve created for myself. I worked hard to make sure my visage matched my thoughts.

Believe it or not – I’m honest from day one. Until I find a legitimate reason to lie to you, I will not because there would be no purpose. I would be lying for the sake of lying.

Step 2:  Friends, but Step 3:  Consistency.

There’s a reason for this long explanation into why I act the way I do, and here it is.

If honesty comes first, what reason do I have to lie to get people to like me? And hand-in-hand with that, why should I have to fight when someone says otherwise?

Truthfully, there is no reason. If you’re my friend, you’re my friend. I learned just yesterday that the ones who cherish their friends are the ones who stick to their convictions. Childish rumors and hasty actions will not change that. Anyone who has anything to say about the way I act can only know that speaking badly of me will only make the reaction to seeing the truth that much more satisfying for me. Say what you want – you’re still speaking of me.

In this day and age, young adults have all become truth-seekers. In the presence of malice, they pursue the side that makes the most sense, and the side that doesn’t is the one spattered with red in the end.

True or false:  the truth finds you.

False.

You need to find the truth on your own.

“The Perfect Gift”

As you get older, you begin to realize that finding the “perfect gift” is near to impossible. It’s not because you don’t know what someone likes or what would make someone happy, but with age, you start to settle your mental list of likes and dislikes. In contrast to how each birthday you never really know what you want when someone asks you, when you’re young, every year there’s something new that you’re into. One year it’s boy bands, the next it’s guitar, the year after that is a phone – etc. etc.

Mom, I regret not knowing even now what to get you for Mother’s Day. In the past, it was always, “Sweetie, this gift will be from the both of us” because as a child, you look at your parents as people who have everything they need because you never stop to consider what they want.

So this post is not just an open letter to my dad for Father’s Day – but a thorough look into why I love my parents and why they helped shape me into the person I am today with what seemed like little to no effort. This is for both of you, Mom and Dad. This is for all the parents in my family. This is for all of you.

As children, you never really think about how hard your parents try. They come home from work, they kiss you goodnight, they make dinner seem like it’s just always meant to be there – that’s what life was. Mom and Dad have everything you need and they hand it to you because that’s the life they’re giving you – that’s the life they believe you deserve. When you get older and you live on your own, those meals start disappearing, replaced by last minute studying and hurried meals “because I just need to eat something.”

I will admit this post will not be entirely relate-able for some of my readers. At a young age, I realized that I had an abnormal relationship with my parents, but I didn’t realize exactly how different until people started pointing it out to me.

I text my parents “goodnight” everyday (almost, sorry, Mom). I eat with them at the dinner table. I tell them about my friends, and I tell them when I have a crush on someone at school. I go to them for advice and even go as far as to delegate my friends to them for advice as well.

Is that not normal?

Dad, you proposed to Mom after two weeks, and you’re still together.

Here I am, still meeting people who’ve been together for years and got divorced months later. You set the standard that marriage is a life-long thing.

“I can look, but I go home to Mom everyday.”

That’s marriage. You’re not limiting each other to the walls of the house you share because you aren’t sharing it. It’s not yours and hers – it’s yours. This home belongs to both of you; it isn’t shared. You don’t share your life with Mom; it’s your life.

And maybe you two are the reason why I have such high standards for friends – you two do as well.

For children with wonderful parents, have you ever stopped to figure out that your parents are the first best friends you made in your life? They are the only first best friends. And they are the best.

Yes, I know, again, this won’t apply to everyone but it certainly applies to me and a handful of people I can think of.

Yeah, sometimes I don’t understand you, and other times you don’t understand me. But as a family, even though you don’t understand, you still go to the dinner table – me in my spot and you both in yours – and eat, talk about the day, and enjoy each others’ company. Growing up, I never considered it as enjoying each others’ company, I just thought of it as dinner because that’s how you raised me. It was never an anomaly that “families who eat dinner together have a stronger bond” because that’s how it always was. We ate together, we did our separate activities in the living room together, and overall, at the end of the day, things were discussed together.

When I tell my friends I’m going on vacation with my parents, they say “aww” and for a few seconds I really wonder why. Is that not the norm?

The norm for me is telling my dad about my day. It’s feeling comfortable enough to talk about what frustrates me to a friend in front of my parents because I’m not afraid to let them hear what I have to say.

I remember some bits of advice every now and then.

“At this age, you’re trying to figure out what you want. And even if you can’t, you’re figuring out things that you don’t want.”

I never stopped to thank you for the childhood you gave me because it took me so long to see that this was not normal. Not all families have that transparency. Not all families go to Harry Potter World every year because it makes us laugh and feel happy. Not all families hug each other… just because. That’s not normal.

But that’s us.

So – thank you, Mom. Thank you, Dad. Thank you for setting this standard of life for me because without you I wouldn’t be aiming as high as I do. When it comes to guys, I think of you two first. Would you be proud of me for liking him? Would you speak of my relationship to the rest of our family with pride? And if the answer is no, then goodbye to that idea.

And maybe that’s why finding gifts is so difficult for me! I appreciate both of you everyday. I tell you I love you everyday. I spend everyday thinking of you two at least once, so what is one day out of the year to celebrate your existence supposed to mean to me? Really it means nothing. I appreciate that you are my parents everyday, and I’ll probably continue to do so for the rest of my life.

I get my quirks from you, I get my standards for life and love, I get my expectations – I get basically every aspect of my life as an adult from you. Will I ever forget that? No. I don’t think I ever will.

I know I’ve frustrated you in the past, and I know I’ve made you cry. I know I can achieve more and you believe I can as well, so I’ll continue to try and aim as high as you expect of me. I know I could have done more; I know I could have done this and that better. But I take pride in the fact that out of the millions of children who have said it in their adolescence, I have never once said I hate you. I don’t ever complain about you because – really – what is there to complain about? I learn from you because you were my first teachers. You were my first supporters, and my first friends. I never once regretted the life I had (or have) as an only child, and I know you’ve felt bad because I had no company growing up but did I really need it? No. I didn’t need it because you two did your best to give me that company that was essential to my development. I’m proud to be your child. I’m proud that you can go to your friends and say “my daughter did this” with pride because no one else raised me – it was all you two. The fact that I can be enough for you to speak of me with pride is all I could ever need to accomplish.

And perhaps, you both knew all of these things already, but in case you didn’t – here it is for you in writing.

Thank you for making my life what it is.

I love you both – I really do.

Happy Father’s Day.

“I Am No Stranger to Strangers.”

(Old image featured – 2015)

I am no stranger to strangers.

Every time something shifts in my life, I momentarily forget past occurrences and only look forward. My memory gets foggy, and the concept that “this seems familiar” disappears for half a second.

Thinking back, this is not the first time I’ve heard these words, sunk into these feelings, or received these blows. However, I do know one thing for sure – I’ve finally learned to handle it the way I should.

When it comes to red flags, it may or may not be obvious. For some people I meet, I get this anxious feeling. This particular knot that says,

Be friendly, but do not trust.

And when I feel this, I am sure to be on my guard. Do not get too close, do not reveal too much, and do not let them in.

The second kind of red flag comes in stages. There is a series of yellow flags before the red, and only when the red appears is it too late. When I was younger, I disregarded yellow flags for the sake of giving the benefit of the doubt – something I realized I am more than notorious for giving blindly.

I can recall a memory from when I was 14.

I was visiting a church with a friend who I now call stranger. I sat, feeling out of place when a girl walks in. She walked with confidence, and she had a presence that I admired. She was much older, much more mature than us.

I don’t like her. She’s full of herself. The underside of her hair is blue, and it’s tacky. No one likes her.

As my friend said this, I took her words and applied it over the girl’s image. Yet even as I did, the other young girls my age flocked her and showered her with compliments. In the midst of her mini gathering of fans, she turned to me.

Oh, you’re new! What’s your name? Are you coming here regularly now? I haven’t been here in a while, so I’m sorry if I didn’t recognize you.

I wanted to think she had on a facade for the sake of making a good first impression, but to this day, I really don’t think she was. We talked about her hair, and later she introduced me to her friend with whom I kept in contact with for some time.

From that small experience, I should have known better that your friends’ impressions of people become your own impressions. But what if that wasn’t a real friend? Would that make their impressions invalid?

I am no stranger to strangers.

Once at 10, once at 14, and again once more at 22.

There is no age limit for lessons to be learned. Fate will make you experience the same situations over and over again – same circumstances, different people – same feeling, different words said – until you finally learn which way is the right way.

So what have I learned?

Those who have high standards for whom they trust but who are not trustworthy are not to be regarded, and their impressions of me will not change my impression of myself.

Memories, once invalid, lose all sentimental value. When you originate the initial problem to its start date, all fond and happy moments lose meaning. Now, they are merely occurrences experienced with a stranger. Do not give them weight.

The friend who is meant to stay in your life will never leave. True friends have a purpose in your life, and regardless of the amount of time spent, there is more to be done. They are the non-romantic soulmates who will keep aiding along your spiritual growth. You may not always agree with each other, but you always find your way back. Being annoyed with each other is a natural thing, but if you let that annoyance tear you two apart, then it’s time to say goodbye.

I will not try to save a sinking ship that keeps sabotaging itself whether its intentional or not. The life savers on that ship have been thrown to me, but I will not bend. A sabotaged ship can save no one.

There is a reason why I say I trust my friends blindly.

Do what you want, I am not your keeper.

Make your mistakes because it is your life to live.

I will turn a blind eye to the malice others see because I befriend your character – your being – not your actions.

I trust you with my eyes shut because the moment a line is crossed, I can open my eyes, see you for the person I let you be, and turn away. That blind trust is gone, and you are a stranger once more.

There is no magical place where all lost friendships go. They dissipate into thin air, and life goes on. I let it go, and I won’t hold on.

It isn’t worth saving.

Temporary friends add filter to your vision that you must remove once they depart.

The genuine friends are the ones who keep your sight clear.

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